.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
.jpg)
Most Recent Wedding Dress Trends For Spring 2013
Do you have a work habit?
When we think about addictive behaviours, the connotations are mostly negative since the consequences of fixations are essentially harmful. But being a compulsive worker, or workaholic, tends to be seen as positive since the result of this addiction seems to be bonuses, the promotions and the glory at work. Therefore although this is a condition present and acknowledged across cultures, it is not routinely detected and often times realised a little too late.
The positive reinforcement in the form of verbal praise and rewards keep strengthening the addiction, making the cycle quite difficult to break. What’s ironic is that the workaholic doesn’t always succeed nor do they preform exceptionally better than others. Not because they are not competent, but due to the psychological prison this addiction creates. Of course this perceived success at work comes with a huge price, both physically and psychologically.
Workaholism applies to people in the since working and being an employee is the primary reason many people, especially expatriates, have sojourned or migrated here and therefore a significant amount of their focus and energy goes towards this objective. Long work hours, inability to balance work and private life, multi-tasking, unclear job descriptions, power distances as well as working in a dynamic and culturally diverse environment can also add to the every day challenges of the work world, eventually resulting in burnout or exhaustion.
Signs of a workaholic include:
1. Can’t stop thinking about work
2. You are very controlling and don’t like to delegate
3. You have a troubled personal life
4. You are never fully disconnected from work
5. Always drawn to work issues, even when home
6. Dread weekends because you can’t work as much
7. No other activity satisfies you as much as work
8. You lose sleep planning and strategising before sleeping and sometimes even in the middle of the night
9. Do not take regular holidays
10. Suffer from regular colds or headaches
There are many advantages to being a dedicated and hard working employee. Of course the distinction should be made in that working passionately and deriving satisfaction, does not make someone a work addict. Workaholism sets in when our work becomes the most important aspects of our identity and activities, notably neglecting all other facets of our personal life. There aren’t many pros to this situation. However there are plenty of cons including long term physical and psychological ailments as well as an inability to nurture other relationships and domains of one’s life.
Anyone struggling with work addiction could benefit from help to learn to work smarter and more efficiently, rather than longer and dysfunctional.
The following steps may help prepare a friend or loved one interested in confronting a workaholic.
• Learn as much as possible about the psychological addiction
• Seek advice and counsel from trained addiction and compulsive behaviour experts
• Develop a calm, loving and rational plan to confront the friend about his or her compulsive disorder
• Explore treatment options and prepare a possible path to recovery
• Speak clearly about the effects the workaholic disease has on your life
• Offer to walk through the treatment process with your loved one and assure him or her that you are there to help
• Along with your counselor develop proper and healthy treatment outcome goals
Look out for the warning signs in yourself or a loved one, before it gets too late. Anyone struggling with work addiction could benefit from help to learn to work smarter and more efficiently, rather than longer and dysfunctionally.
What To Do When You Find Him Cheating
Your formerly great boyfriend messed everything up and betrayed your trust. Here are nine things to do if you caught him cheating.
Take Care of Yourself
After you've caught him cheating—or he confessed—you're going to be in shock. Trust in him and trust of yourself is in question, and your self-esteem is crushed. The first thing you need to do is try to take a step back and give yourself a whopping dose of self-care. Sleep well, eat well, and exercise—being active will counteract the sadness you feel by boosting your endorphins.
Consider Taking a Break
Separate yourself from your guy for 24-48 hours before talking about what happened so you can calm down and reconnect with yourself. Chances are, your absence could make him feel super shitty for what he did rather than immediately go on the defense.
Mourn the Loss
Being betrayed is a lot like dealing with a death—after all, it is the end of your relationship as you know it. Whenever we have a loss, our brain chemistry gets messed up. So, you're going to feel grief and you need to treat the situation for what it is. Do whatever you need to do to let the emotions flow—journaling, music, movies—and you will feel better.
Don't Push for Details
You may have the impulse to talk with your guy and get every dirty detail of what actually happened. Unless you know that you definitely want to break up and you think that knowing the details will help you get over him, beware of how much information you ask for. Some details can haunt you long after the affair is over.
Don't Try to Get Even
You're probably going to be super pissed—and rightly so. But this isn't the time to call up your ex-boyfriend for a quickie or rekindle a relationship with your former hook up. That won't change that your man cheated, and chances are, it will just make you feel worse.
Manage Your Obsession
While it's really natural to obsesses about his cheating, try to limit the "what if's," potentially blaming yourself, etc. All of that will overwhelm you even further. Call a friend, go for a run, or do anything you can to try to take your mind off of things. (You can also give yourself an allotted amount of time every day that you can mull over that nasty affair, then decrease it each day as you feel better.)
Make Sure He's Willing to Make Things Right
If you want to work things out with him, make sure that he has severed all contact with the person he cheated with, that he's taking responsibility for what he did—not blaming you—and that he's willing to do whatever is needed to make you feel safe again. Only then can you guys start rebuilding your relationship.
Rebuild Trust
Without trust, you can't have any sort of love connection. But once you lose it, it's hard to get it back. While your relationship is healing, your guy needs to be okay with being accountable when you ask him where he was (or where he's going, who he's going to be with, and so on) and he'll have to understand that you'll need time to really regain your trust in him.
Forgive Him—and Yourself
Whether you decide to stay with him or not, this is the most essential step. First you have to forgive him: This doesn't mean you condone his behavior, but rather accept it and choose to move forward so you can be happy. But, more importantly, you have to trust yourself: If you don’t, it's going to be very hard to move on—you'll be anxious and on guard with every other guy you date.
Compliments You Might As Well Never Give A Man
By: Adil Imran
You may think saying your husband looks cute trying to fix the lawn
mower is music to his ears, but he's hearing a different tune.
Women's words of praise can sit the wrong way with their spouses. Sometimes emotional responses, like frustration and excitement, creep into compliments and unintentionally wound guys' pride.
"When giving a compliment, put it in the best light possible to show you really appreciate him," says Match.com relationship expert Whitney Casey.
Here, experts dish on 10 compliments that could use a man-friendly makeover.
You're the only person I can talk to
Avoid putting such a hefty emotional load on your man. He doesn't want to be your girlfriends, mom and sister all rolled into one. "That puts pressure on him to be the only support system," says licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of BeTheSmartWife.com. Say he's your favorite, not your only, for greatest impact. Try: "I know I talk to my girlfriends and mom all the time, but you're the best listener. I love talking to you because you really get me." He thrives on feeling helpful, and this shows how much you value his ear.
You're so cute!
Your man would rather not be lumped into the same category as puppies and babies. "I'm not looking to be told my dimples are cute," says Peter from Boston. "That doesn't exactly convey my rugged handsomeness." Goldstein says, "'Cute' makes him seem like a little boy, which does a number on your couple chemistry." Goldstein likes Peter's alternative word: handsome. "People choose elementary words because they avoid deeper intimacy. Saying something underused like handsome really says, 'I love you,'" she explains.
This gift isn't quite my taste, but it's the thought that counts
Tell him he's thoughtful, yes. But even if the necklace he chose for Valentine's Day is the last piece of jewelry you would've picked, stay mum. Speaking up says he doesn't know you well enough. "It's a total slap in the face," says Goldstein. "He'll end up not wanting to get you anything next time." Acknowledge the generosity behind his present, and wear it sometimes. Before the next special occasion, though, point out the exact gifts you like at the store, so he'll know what to get.
It's like you're my third child but I love you anyway
Saying you adore him in spite of his faults by tacking "but I love you" onto a dis is "totally passive-aggressive," says Goldstein. "You're basically saying he's a pain in the butt." Separate these two thoughts instead of qualifying one. "Say what you're trying to say," Goldstein insists, suggesting you lead with a "soft starter" before getting things off your chest. Try: "I love that you're so close with the kids and make time to play with them. Sometimes, though, I really need you on my side with discipline."
My husband did the most romantic thing ever
Don't gush too much to your friends about your man's private gesture. Word travels fast, from your girls to his guys. "There's a lot of talk in male circles about being 'whipped,' and this would fall in that category," says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD. So he planned a romantic dinner because he loves you? His boys could give him a hard time for the added pressure they now feel to please their wives. If you want to spill, make him look good. Dr. Brosh suggests saying, "We focus on keeping things fresh, and most recently my husband did this." This shines the right light on your man. Though it may invoke a little jealousy in your friends, it's likely to keep his buddies' taunts at bay.
I love your tummy flab!
If you were raving about Ryan Gosling's six-pack yesterday, your husband will hear mixed messages and won't know what to believe. "Guys who spend that much time on their bodies can easily be more focused on themselves than their partners," says Dr. Brosh, who suggests telling your husband that you prefer a man who's a great partner and father than one with great abs. "This will let him know what's truly important to you," and reassure him that he offers those things.
You're the best I've ever had
He wants to pleasure you in bed, but he doesn't want to think about the men from your past. "You suddenly think of all these guys who've been there and done that," says Matt* from Big Rapids, MI. To compliment his skill in the sack, be specific to this sexual experience with him. "Say, 'I love how it feels when you...'" suggests Dr. Brosh. "Keeping it personal ensures that the focus is on the partner, not on some general comparison."
I'm amazed you were able to fix the leaky tap
Don't act surprised when he pulls off a project without professional help. "Telling a man you're 'shocked' by his capabilities is a huge hit to his self-esteem," says Casey. "Men never want their wives to question their ultra-masculine abilities." Try this: "Handsome, smart and handy? I knew I married a triple threat." Nothing says you see him as a sexy stud more than complimenting multiple facets of his manhood at once.
It's so sweet you want to help me clean up, but I can do it faster myself
While you may have certain chores down to a science, your man may not. Be gracious when he offers to ease the load, and don't comment on his glacial pace. "We're all guilty of it. You've had a long day and want things done as quickly as possible so you can relax," says Casey. "But men hate feeling like they're not good enough for you-and he'll think you're calling him slow with that comment." Instead, use the extra time you spend on dishes to catch up on each other's day. Above all, tell him you appreciate him wanting to help.
Best 10 Steps To Happiness
Happiness isn’t about leading an obstacle-free life — your life will always have obstacles — instead, it’s about learning how to change what you focus on and how you react to circumstances, regardless of whether they’re good or bad. Happiness is a mental state of well-being that comes from focusing more often on the behaviours, people, and things that will enrich and inspire your positive physical, mental, and emotional growth. Here are 10 steps to begin living a happier life:
Step One: Exercise.
Yes, you’ve heard it before, but exercise is one small change that yields really big, life-changing benefits. For starters, it is a fantastic energizer, invigorating your mind and body. Exercise improves your sleep, and it’s a natural anti-depressant that will help your attitude and outlook. As time passes, you’ll gain the added bonus of being happier with your physical appearance as well. If working out is already a part of your life, great. If it isn’t, commit to walking just twenty minutes every other day to start out. You don’t have to join a gym, sign up for exhausting classes, and completely reorder your life to reap the benefits of this investment.
Step Two: Take Charge of Your Mind.
If you want your thoughts and attitudes to be positive, you must fill your brain with encouraging ideas. For this reason, you may consider making motivational books and audio recordings part of your daily ritual, too. It sounds incredibly hokey, but listening to a motivational CD during your morning commute or reading motivational messages for fifteen minutes can put you in a positive place all day.
Step Three: Celebrate Success.
Most people tend to focus a lot of mental energy on the things that went wrong rather than the things that went well. Instead of beating yourself up, start celebrating your many successes. Relax about the things that don’t go perfectly, and celebrate everything that does. The cycle of negativity that focuses on failures will keep you from becoming a truly relaxed, content, and happy person.
Step Four: Eliminate Excess Stress.
Stress prevents you from living in and enjoying life. It can also cause negative long-term effects ranging from high blood pressure and insomnia to depression and anxiety. If you can’t eliminate or change a stressor, such as a job you hate but can’t afford to quit, challenge yourself to handle it differently. Decide beforehand how you will react in a more enlightened way when certain stressful situations occur. Having a game plan in place beforehand can reduce your negative reactions to stressors—big time.
Step Five: Live in the Present.
If you’re ruminating on what’s already happened or fretting about what might come to pass, you’re not enjoying the moment. You’re exacerbating your anxiety and unhappiness by choosing to dwell on things you can’t change or control. Forgive others (and yourself) for any wrongs you might be holding on to and stop dreading the future. Over time, you’ll start to live the adventurous, wonderful life in the present you were always meant to.
Step Six: Hang Around Positive People.
We influence and are influenced by the people we hang around. Gradually, you need to gravitate more toward the ‘Positives’ and distance yourself from the ‘Negatives.’ This might mean calling a positive friend and asking to meet up for coffee or a beer, or walking away from the water cooler when your co-workers begin to gripe and complain. Negative people will inevitably pass their unhealthy attitudes on to you.
Step Seven: Strengthen Close Relationships.
It’s always worth putting work into improving close relationships because the quality of the relationships you have with the people you are the closest to can make or break the quality of your life. Loving, supportive relationships will improve your outlook and well-being. Address any unresolved grievances and apologize for the things you may regret. Most of all, put more work into the relationship with your significant other than you do into anything else: This can make such a great difference in your emotional health, your stress levels, and your overall happiness.
Step Eight: Be Friendly.
Extending simple human kindness to other people can make a huge difference in their lives…and in yours. Everyone on Earth is carrying some sort of burden. You can’t make their pain, stress, or grief just magically disappear but you can make others feel just a little bit lighter and happier on their journey, even if only for five seconds. When you make friendliness a habit, you’ll attract kindness and smiles in return, and you’ll feel great about yourself for making a positive difference in the world!
Step Nine: Give Back.
It’s true: It really is better to give than to receive. Giving doesn’t have to involve money, either; your time, talents, and compassion are just as valuable as cash, if not more so. We’re all busy—but as often as you can, make the effort to do something nice to help another person or organization. Whether you’re giving time, energy, money, or encouragement, being generous will build up your self-esteem, broaden your perspective, keep you anchored in reality, and connect you to your blessings.
Step Ten: Be Grateful.
Yes, living with an 'attitude of gratitude' is a clichéd concept. But across the board, grateful people are happier and healthier; yes, studies have actually shown that thankful individuals are healthier too! It’s extremely important to be aware of all of your blessings, and to honour and thank those whom you owe for them. The humility that comes from knowing you owe so much to so many others may, in turn, spur you to give back more often to those less fortunate than yourself.
Malala Yousafzai At Long Last Back To Class
Malala Yousafzai the Nobel prize nominee is finally back to school for her first time since October 2012.
The innocent girl had been shot in the head by the Taliban as she was asking for girls’ right in education.
Kim Kardashian To Be Grilled This Month
Kim Kardashian's divorce case deposition will take place later this month.
The 32-year-old reality TV star - who is expecting her first child in early July with her rapper boyfriend of almost one year Kanye West - will reportedly be confronted about faking scenes for her E! series when her estranged husband Kris Humphries' lawyers finally sit down to grill her in two weeks time ahead of their divorce battle.
A source told gossip website RadarOnline.com: 'Kim's deposition is now scheduled. It will take place in the next two weeks at her lawyer Laura Wasser's office. It's scheduled to take all day, and Kim has been dreading it.'
Kim's deposition will be recorded and used as evidence in her upcoming divorce trial against Kris, who is continuing to contest their divorce and wants an annulment on the basis of fraud.
A producer of 'Keeping Up With The Kardashians' has already admitted that a few scenes were either faked, edited or staged in his recent deposition, including Kris' televised marriage proposal.
The Brooklyn Nets player's legal team were previously said to be keeping a close eye on Kim's reality show to gather information to help them question her at her upcoming deposition.
An insider said: 'Kris' lawyers are being meticulous in their preparation of Kim's deposition, and impending divorce trial.'
Kris' attorney Marshall Waller recently applied to be taken off the sportsman's legal team after he advised there was no legal grounds or evidence to support his claims of fraud.
Google Reader Is Dead, Here Are Five Alternatives
The news that Google is shutting down go-to RSS feed manager Google Reader on 1 July caused quite the uproar among users. However it's time to move on and find another solution, because as expected, the flow of articles isn't stopping any time soon.
There are several alternatives out there, both web based and downloadable applications. Ultimately, you're looking for something that loads quickly, has a stylish UI, and can provide easy access to feeds.
Feedly
Feedly is one of the more popular Google Reader alternatives. It is available on the web, iOS, and Android, providing a complete list of feeds in a Google Reader-like UI. A number of publication sources are suggested within the web application.
The features of Feedly's mobile apps really stand out. It includes a Flipboard-like interface for finding new stories. Once a story is clicked on provides a few paragraphs from the story and a nice image.
Bet best yet, Feedly is aiming to provide a seamless move from Google Reader. The company has been anticipating the shut-down of Reader, and in doing that, has been cloning the Google Reader API. When Reader shuts down in July, there will be a seamless transition where no feeds are lost.
NetVibes
NetVibes isn't just a Google Reader alternative, but more of a social media dashboard, focusing on the power users. Past email, Flickr photos, and support for other services, NetVibes does really well for feed management. The main part of the page provides a full list off feeds, where on the left you can jump into feeds into certain categories, much like Google Reader.
NetNewsWire
Though it does have some Google Reader functionality we assume will go away soon, NetNewsWire is one of the best newsreaders on Mac. It's lightweight and provides a clear look at feeds. There is one main list where when an clicked on, it will load in a preview box below. NetNewsWire also offers iOS applications that offer similar functionality. A free app is available on each platform with ads, while a premium version is available ad-free.
FeedDemon
On the Windows side, users have found FeedDemon as a go-to RSS reader. While it does offer Google Reader sync (which will go away soon), it does give you the ability to subscribe manually. There's no feed recommendations, rather just raw feeds with headlines and images flowing in a sea of unlimited articles. There is also an offline mode where you can save articles for later reading.
Pulse, Flipboard and Google Currents
For managing feeds on a mobile device, the trio Pulse, Flipboard, and Google Currents have been noted as the best. Flipboard arguably offers the nicest UI, where as Pulse offers great categorization right from the home page. Flipboard and Google Currents also focus on offering a magazine-like user-interface. All three are available on both iOS and Android -- with Pulse even available as a web interface.
Twitter lists
Making a separate news Twitter list is something I've been doing for quite sometime. Given the speed of Twitter, and the fact every publication has an account, it makes for one great aggregator of what's happening around the web. Though, it's not for everyone, as it can become very hard to manage if it doesn't have your attention.
What next...
Google will be making feed data from Google Reader available via its Google Takeout service. This should make it pretty easy to change into new services. And hey, maybe you're favorite applications will move away from Google Reader support... or maybe even a few new ones will pop up.
Twitter launches native Windows 8 and Windows RT App
Following a promise last October, Twitter has announced the availability of a native Windows 8 and Windows RT app.
The app doesn't offer any huge features that aren't offered on other platforms, featuring the obligatory Home, Connect, Discover and Me tabs. Twitter has, however, taken advantage of specific Windows 8 features and built the app around them.
The first is the snap view feature on Windows 8. It has extended to the Twitter app, enabling users to use it alongside another application. The Windows 8 Twitter app can be pinned to the left or right side of the screen, where users can watch a stream of tweets flood in while working on something else.
The Windows 8 Twitter app also features a landscape photo view that will work well with the form-factor of the Surface RT. Users can swipe horizontally to view multiple photos in landscape view on the Discover tab or another users's profile, rather than photos being small and boxed in.
Lastly, sharing and searching on the Twitter app from anywhere within Windows 8 is an ease, as users can swipe from the right edge from an app to select either functionality. As you'd expect with Windows 8, Live Tiles and notifications are also present.
Twitter for Windows 8 and Windows RT is now available from the Windows store in 22 languages.
When a Child Loses a Parent
"Mommy, where's my Dad?" "Dad, where's my Mommy?" When a parent passes away, this can be the single most difficult question the remaining parent has to answer. In a typical black-and-white Egyptian movie, a glazed-eyed widow tells her son that his late father is ‘traveling.’ Later, the boy overhears the gardener telling the milkman that things aren’t the same after the master’s death. Devastated, the little boy runs away…
While real life may not be quite as melodramatic, it is still common to find people in our society shielding their children from death. But death happens all the time, and when the loss is of someone as important as a child’s father or mother, then perhaps we should consider what we’re going to tell our kids.
One heart-breaking story about the death of a parent involved a six-year-old child who lost his beloved father. Using the cue from the old movies, the mother told the boy that his father would be traveling ‘for a very long time.’ This seemed unbelievable to the child, who was very close to his father; he could not believe his father would just disappear without letting him know. His first thought was that he had done something wrong to warrant his father’s hasty departure. Then kids at school started telling him he was an orphan, and he chanced to overhear his mother talking to someone about her son’s ignorance of his father’s death. Stunned, but too terrified to approach his mother, the boy kept this shocking revelation inside him for six years, shouldering the pain alone, unable to tell his mother he knew the truth.
“Denying death is simply running away from a fact of life,” states Professor Tahira Hoke, community psychologist and psychology and communication course lecturer at Prince Sultan University Women’s College Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. "When you lie about death to a child to protect him, you are in fact robbing him of the right to grieve and come to terms with his loss," explains Hoke. Hoke says that families should take the time to understand death and accept it as an inevitable part of our existence before it actually happens. "Talk about death with your children before it confronts the family. It’s difficult to explain something to a child that you don’t yourself understand, and even more difficult to explain it when you are grieving," she further explains.
Breaking the News
When a parent dies, it is essential that a child be told as soon as possible and in the most basic of terms. Sara, whose husband passed away after a long illness, told her four year old son Haythem about his father’s death immediately. "I was especially glad that I'd been honest with him when my friend's son (who was five years old) came to visit the next day and announced to Haythem and the world, 'My dad says that your dad is dead.' I can't imagine what I would have done if he hadn't already known the truth."
When you break the sad news, bear in mind the child’s age. Children have very active imaginations, so there is no need to volunteer more information than the situation requires. "There is no harm in providing your child with information that conforms to your ideology, but do not overwhelm him with information that is not developmentally appropriate. Doing so may affect how he deals with death in the future," states Hoke. This means that while you should take time to answer a child’s questions, you should avoid morbid descriptions that may haunt him. One grown woman still flinches when she remembers her grandmother’s description of her grandfather’s death, with details of how he foamed and made a terrifying death rattle before his soul departed. The grandmother even volunteered an account of what happens to our bodies when they start decomposing. For a small child, you can talk about heaven, but there is no need to get into great details of the metaphysical. It’s enough for a child to be told that the person has ‘gone to God,’ and is comfortable and happy. Sara, believes the best you can offer your child is simplicity and honesty. She says, “I was as honest as I could be with Haythem about both issues, his father’s illness and then his father's death. He was only four, so I gave only an abbreviated explanation of the illness as it developed and when his father passed away, I told him simply that daddy had died, and a little bit about heaven. He didn't ask many questions when I told him, but every once in a while something would occur to him, and I'd explain in the best way I could.” She adds that the fact that he saw his father’s illness develop made him feel better when he was told that now that he had passed away, he was no longer sick.
Khaled Assem, whose wife Mona Adnan passed away in December 2004 after a battle with cancer, also states that he was honest yet simple with his daughters Haya, ten years old and Malak, six years old. He explains, "You can’t evade the truth. You can simplify things, but you should stick to the truth." Khaled adds that seeing their mother's health deteriorate prepared the girls, though he did not discuss death with them until it seemed imminent. According to him, "They saw her getting worse and worse every day. We only talked about her passing away in the last month. Telling them earlier would have created a situation of extreme uncertainty and insecurity too early on."
Babies and toddlers have short memory spans, and will not require an explanation of what has happened, but may still need comforting once they are aware that a parent is absent. "When a parent dies, preschoolers often show signs of distress or intense anxiety when separated from the surviving parent,” explains Hoke. Toddlers who lose their mothers often attach themselves to the most available adult once they sense their mother’s absence. One grandmother says that when her daughter passed away, the fifteen month old grandson first went about from room to room looking for his mother and crying. After a day or two, he put all his energy into following his grandmother everywhere, and crying if she went out of sight for a second. "I couldn’t even step into the bathroom without taking him along," recalls the grandmother.
Involving a Child
A school age child may handle the news of death differently. It is important to be alert to the feelings of an older child, especially in the first few days when the formalities of burial and condolences are under way. Many family members tend to want to exclude their children entirely from the whole experience of burial and initial mourning, but Hoke states that a child need not be excluded. In fact he advises that, "The child should be allowed to be involved as much as he wants to. However, it’s important to educate him about what is going to happen during the mourning rituals to decrease anxiety. Explain that people are going to be sad and crying, or may express themselves in other ways as they remember his deceased parent." However, Hoke does caution that some children might find this experience overwhelming.
"For some children, being involved in the mourning activities may be too terrifying. It is up to the surviving parent or caregiver to judge whether or not the child can handle the situation," adds Hoke.
Farida, whose husband and son’s stepfather died suddenly before the child’s eyes, decided that she could not let her son attend the burial preparations or funeral. "Yusuf was eight years old when Adel died of a massive heart attack. I felt that this was traumatic enough. I knew that my husband was gone, but Yusuf, I think, was hoping that he had just fainted. It was a very difficult moment, but I knew I had to keep myself together for my son. I sent Yusuf to sleep over at his best friend’s place, as I could not have him see the difficult first few hours and days. However, I didn’t exclude him entirely. I made a point of seeing him whenever I could, in between funeral arrangements and condolences. I told him that Adel was not coming back, that he was now with Allah. It was very hard on him because he adored his stepfather. After the mourning period was over, I took him to the cemetery where we read Quran together. It was a great comfort having Yusuf there, as the two of us could quietly, through prayer, share our sorrow over losing someone who had made our lives so very special for the few years we were all together," says Farida.
Child Abuse Linked With Development of Cancer in Adulthood
Findings in a recent study have proposed that kids, who are ill-treated by their parents and more often abused are at a high risk of developing cancer in adulthood. It has been notified that the chances of raising the cancer are more in case, daughters are frequently abused by their mothers and sons by their fathers.
The study stated that by abusing a child, the parent is at the same time is mocking them, disgracing them and humiliating them.
Moreover, exposing a child to brutality or hurting their emotions, or imposing strict rules and regulations onto them, including physical abuse and also not providing them with basic requirements, including food, clothing and neglecting them are all considered under a one category as ‘abuse’.
Kenneth Ferraro, professor of sociology at the Purdue University Centre, said “People often say that children are resilient and they'll bounce back, but we found that there are events that can have long-term consequences on adult health”.
Children, who were emotionally hurt by their parents or were physically abused, were at a significant risk of developing cancer as they grow up into an adult. Rather, the more was the powerful and recurrent was the abuse, the chances of cancer increase.
Ferraro emphasized that child abuse should be counted as environmental factor leading to development of cancer.
Want A Brighter Baby? Feed On Demand, Not On A Schedule
So much of the battle over infant feeding plays out over breast versus bottle that there’s precious little time left to focus on another area marked by its own share of controversy:
do you feed baby on demand or on schedule?
It may depend on whose needs are being prioritized — baby’s or mom’s. New research in the European Journal of Public Health finds that infants fed whenever they seem hungry wind up as better students who score higher on tests, including ones that measure IQ. Meanwhile, mothers who feed their babies on a schedule indicate they feel better and more confident about themselves than moms who feed on demand.
MORE: Mayim Bialik on Attachment Parenting: ‘Very Small People Have a Voice’
Researchers at the Institute for Social and Economic Research (ISER) at the University of Essex and Oxford University assessed 10,419 children born in the early 1990s to compare the outcomes of feeding on demand or according to a schedule. They looked at parents’ educational levels, family income and maternal health, among other factors.
Regardless of whether they were breast- or bottle-fed, babies whose cries were rewarded with milk or formula boasted an IQ that was up to five points higher than scheduled babies by the time they were 8 years old.
Dr. Maria Iacovou of the ISER was the study’s lead researcher. She described the five-point difference as “statistically highly significant,” according to the Guardian.
“To give a sense of the kind of difference that four or five higher IQ points might make, in a class of 30 children, for example, a child who is right in the middle of the class, ranked at 15th, might be, with an improvement of four or five IQ points, ranked higher, at about 11th or 12th in the class.”
Intent didn’t seem to matter in this study: mothers who tried to adhere to a feeding schedule but failed had children who scored similarly to babies fed on demand. Perhaps their higher scores reflect greater security and trust on the part of a baby who knows his mother will take care of his needs.
MORE: Why Pediatricians Say Breast-Feeding is About Public Health, Not Just Lifestyle
The study called to mind the months after my first child was born in 2002. Gary Ezzo’s On Becoming Baby Wise, published several years earlier, was still causing a serious stir in parenting circles. Ezzo, an evangelical Christian who didn’t appear to be much of an expert on infant nutrition, advocated strict parental regulation of a baby’s eat, sleep and play schedule, with the goal of getting baby to sleep through the night early on. Some pediatricians worried that parents who followed the Baby Wise routine would endanger their infants through insufficient feeding; some moms swore by the routine. I never was able to figure out how anyone could not feed a crying baby. And so I fed on demand. Like the women in the study, I was tired. But I was a lot less anxious than I would have been had I followed a rigid feeding routine and been forced to listen to my son’s cries if it happened to be 30 minutes before nursing time.
Now, nine years later, it’s sure nice to know that my on-demand mentality may have enhanced my children’s IQ in a “statistically highly significant” manne
9 parenting Strategies For Raising Your Kids
Parenting can be wonderful and rewarding, but it can also be difficult and unpleasant. Most parents experience moments (or months or years) of feeling overwhelmed. There’s a lot of information out there about what we “should” do to raise “good” kids.
In reality, there are no guaranteed methods for ensuring we and our children will be happy, healthy, and successful in life. There is, however, plenty of research showing that parents can make a significant, positive difference through a number of simple approaches.
Since the 1950s, Search Institute researchers have studied the effects of various influences in young people’s lives. They’ve found that the 40 Developmental Assets clearly relate to good things — like doing well in school, serving others, engaging in the community, and forming healthy habits.
It’s important for grown-ups to help young people experience these things, but parents can’t do it alone. However, there are nine specific parenting strategies that help. Focusing on these nine research-based strategies provides guidance and direction in the uncertain world of parenting. And that’s something parents can feel good about.
Below are our 9 Parenting Strategies based on the Developmental Assets research. Download, print, and share the strategies, and refer to them often in your parenting journey.
Strategy #1
Create a warm, caring, supportive family
Take Action! No two parents show love in quite the same way. Some shower their kids with lots of hugs, high-fives, and kind notes; others are more stoic or reserved. Tap into your own way of showing your kids you care.
*Spend time together in ways that fit your lifestyle.
*Try to make time for regular meals together, go for walks, talk in the car, or meet somewhere for coffee.
*Don’t strive to live up to a stereotype or an ideal of parenting; just do what works for you.
Strategy #2
Maintain open, honest communication
Take Action! Communicate in ways that work well for you. Texting sometimes gets a bad rap, but so did the telephone years ago. Lots of kids today text—many of them, with their parents. If it works for your family, go for it. The medium you use matters less than how much you truly listen.
*Do you understand what your kids are trying to tell you? Are you paying attention to body language or other cues that might indicate there’s more to a story?
*When you share things, are you grounding yourself in love, respect, and clarity? Do you ever say one thing and mean another? Do you treat them the way you want to be treated?
Strategy #3
Connect your kids to other caring, responsible adults
Take Action! Are you able to name at least three non-parent adults who are positive role models for your child? That strict but kind violin teacher who pushes 20 minutes of practice a day may be helping your daughter build confidence. Or maybe the neighbor who hires your son to walk her dogs helps him see himself as a responsible and reliable person.
Adults outside our families can be hidden treasures when it comes to helping us parent. Research shows that all family members can benefit from kids having these kinds of supportive relationships.
You can help nurture them by introducing your children to people you like and respect, and supporting positive relationships that develop naturally.
Strategy #4
Get involved in your kid's school and other activities
Take Action! Most schools and youth-serving programs go out of their way to reach parents through conferences, volunteer opportunities, and special events. If you’re too busy to attend, at the very least, connect with your children’s teachers via e-mail or phone. Then start taking advantage of opportunities to actually get into and spend time at the places your kids go.
*If the idea of going to school makes you uncomfortable, chaperone a field trip out of the building.
*If you aren’t finding good ways to get involved, start talking to or emailing your child’s teachers, principals, program leaders, other directors. Let them know what would work for you and why the current opportunities don’t work.
Strategy #5
Empower your kids to contribute
Take Action! Kids may not realize it, but having responsibilities is good for them. All people need to know they are valued and valuable; it’s human nature.
Parents can show kids that they are valued at home by giving them increasing levels of responsibility. We can then take it a step further by helping them get engaged in service in the community, whether this involvement is in the neighborhood, school, or somewhere else.
Strategy #6
Keep your child safe
Take Action! Kids need emotional and physical safety in equal measures. The challenges parents face in providing it vary as much as kids and their environments.
*A secret to keeping kids safe is to do the other eight things on this list. If you’re communicating, you’ll know what’s going on in your child’s life, where they might need some help, or if they might need someone to look out for them. If they have contributing roles and positive influences, they’re more likely to make safe choices, and if lots of people care about them, they can get help and support when needed.
*A second key is to take physical safety measures (such as baby proofing when they’re young, or setting rules about driving when they’re teens) out of love for them and a desire for them to have positive experiences, rather than out of fear.
Strategy #7
Set boundaries and high expectations
Take Action! It’s no fun being the parent who says no when others are saying yes. But sometimes it’s in the best interest of your kids and your entire family. The key to reducing everyone’s stress and frustration about limits and expectations is to be clear, consistent, reasonable, and evolutionary. “Evolutionary” means being responsive to your child’s changing developmental needs and what they’ve demonstrated about their choices.
*Reward the positive behavior and limit opportunities for negative behavior. For example, if you have a teenager who has a history of impulsive behavior, don’t let her go to an unsupervised party; have a gathering at your home instead.
Or, if your son gets up five mornings a week to go to cross country practice, let him skip an evening workout when he’s feeling ragged and worn out.
Strategy #8
Get to know your kids' friends
Take Action! Be the dad who talks to your passengers during the carpool. Be the mom who asks a lot of questions about school, interests, and activities.
You don’t have to be nosy to get to know your children’s friends, but you do have to be the one to set the tone of kind, friendly interaction. Your kids might think it’s a little weird at first, but in the long run they’ll appreciate it.
Strategy #9
Be a positive role model
Take Action! This one is simple, but definitely not easy: Be the kind of person you want your child to be. Know your values and act on them, treat others the way you would like to be treated, follow your dreams, cut yourself some slack when appropriate, and feel good knowing you’re building the assets your kids need to succeed.
Why Are Women Attracted To Bad Men
Researchers have claimed that there is science behind cliche that 'women like bad men.'
Scientists have revealed that women find it hard to resist callous, self-obsessed and deceitful men.
During a discussion on America's NPR, human rights lawyer Arsalan Iftikhar expressed his surprise that singer Rihanna still reportedly liked Chris Brown, who he said 'didn't only hit Rihanna, he made her look like Buster Douglas'.
National Review writer Kevin D Williamson however, pointed out, that she might not be able to help it because it's in her genes to like men like Chris Brown.
Writing in a blog following the show this week he cited several pieces of research that back up his view, including the much quoted 'Dark Triad' work of Professor Peter Jonason.
This combines the self-obsession of narcissism, the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of the psychopath and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism.
However unattractive the combination might appear, women often equate it with masculinity and the ability to father healthy children.
As a result, those looking for the thrill of an affair, or hoping to become pregnant, are very often drawn to 'bad boys'.
The men, in return, raise their chances of passing their genes on to the next generation.
Scientist Jonason said James Bond is the perfect example of a ladykiller with a rather questionable personality.
"He's clearly disagreeable, very extroverted and likes trying new things - killing people, new women," the Daily Mail quoted the researcher as telling the New Scientist.
Jonason, of New Mexico State University in the U.S., subjected 200 college students to personality tests designed to rank them for each of their dark triad traits.
The subjects were also quizzed about their attitudes to sexual relationships and about their sex lives, including how many partners they had and whether they sought out flings.
The results revealed that men who scored higher on the trio of traits tended to have more partners and more interest in short-term relationships.
A second U.S. study of 35,000 people in 57 countries also found a clear link between the dark triad traits in men and success with women.
"It's universal across cultures for high dark triad scorers to be more active in short-term mating. They are more likely to try and poach other people's partners for a brief affair," researcher Professor David Schmitt, of Bradley University in Illinois, said.
The researchers also claimed that at their most extreme, the traits would be highly unattractive, leading to men being shut off from society.
But one possibility is that the strategy is most successful when dark triad personalities are rare.
Otherwise others would become more wary and guarded and the strategy would backfire.
Dr Gayle Brewer, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Central Lancashire, said that while women tend to like cads for flings, they usually settle down with more caring types.
Scientists have revealed that women find it hard to resist callous, self-obsessed and deceitful men.
During a discussion on America's NPR, human rights lawyer Arsalan Iftikhar expressed his surprise that singer Rihanna still reportedly liked Chris Brown, who he said 'didn't only hit Rihanna, he made her look like Buster Douglas'.
National Review writer Kevin D Williamson however, pointed out, that she might not be able to help it because it's in her genes to like men like Chris Brown.
Writing in a blog following the show this week he cited several pieces of research that back up his view, including the much quoted 'Dark Triad' work of Professor Peter Jonason.
This combines the self-obsession of narcissism, the impulsive, thrill-seeking and callous behaviour of the psychopath and the deceitful and exploitative nature of Machiavellianism.
However unattractive the combination might appear, women often equate it with masculinity and the ability to father healthy children.
As a result, those looking for the thrill of an affair, or hoping to become pregnant, are very often drawn to 'bad boys'.
The men, in return, raise their chances of passing their genes on to the next generation.
Scientist Jonason said James Bond is the perfect example of a ladykiller with a rather questionable personality.
"He's clearly disagreeable, very extroverted and likes trying new things - killing people, new women," the Daily Mail quoted the researcher as telling the New Scientist.
Jonason, of New Mexico State University in the U.S., subjected 200 college students to personality tests designed to rank them for each of their dark triad traits.
The subjects were also quizzed about their attitudes to sexual relationships and about their sex lives, including how many partners they had and whether they sought out flings.
The results revealed that men who scored higher on the trio of traits tended to have more partners and more interest in short-term relationships.
A second U.S. study of 35,000 people in 57 countries also found a clear link between the dark triad traits in men and success with women.
"It's universal across cultures for high dark triad scorers to be more active in short-term mating. They are more likely to try and poach other people's partners for a brief affair," researcher Professor David Schmitt, of Bradley University in Illinois, said.
The researchers also claimed that at their most extreme, the traits would be highly unattractive, leading to men being shut off from society.
But one possibility is that the strategy is most successful when dark triad personalities are rare.
Otherwise others would become more wary and guarded and the strategy would backfire.
Dr Gayle Brewer, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Central Lancashire, said that while women tend to like cads for flings, they usually settle down with more caring types.
Men prefer Their Mum’s Cooking To Their Wife’s
More than half of men prefer their mum's cooking to their wife's, a survey has revealed.
Research found blokes favour their mother's culinary skills because they rustle up more traditional, hearty dishes than their missus.
The study also found mums rarely serve up ready meals, have a wider repertoire of meals and always cook something they know he likes.
Wives and girlfriends on the other hand are likely to dish up pre-prepared meals from the freezer or even microwavable meals.
The study also found more than one in ten blokes think their wife feels under pressure to live up to her mother-in-law's cooking skills.
And a brave 47 per cent of men even have the audacity to complain to their spouse if her food isn't up to scratch - although 20 per cent of those do it in a 'jokey' way so not to hurt her feelings.
But one in ten claim they moan all the time if dinner is below par.
The poll by entertainment channel, Food Network UK, also found one in four men often sneak back to mum's for a spot of dinner without their wife or girlfriend knowing.
Spokesman Nick Thorogood said: "It's quite endearing men prefer their mothers cooking.
"As adults, men still seek the comfort and tradition of the cooking they have grown up with so turn to their mums for what they perceive as a 'proper meal'.
"A lot of the best recipes Brits have are likely to have been handed down to them from their mums and Mother's Day is the perfect time for people to put those cooking tips to good use and surprise their mum with a home-cooked meal.
20 Things Every Man Wants In Bed
You might think you have sexy down to a science. But do know what real men actually want in a lover? Read on to find out
Enthusiasm:
When it comes to sex, you can get an “A” for effort. Guys want to be with someone who’s actually into sex and not doing it as a favor or just going through the motions.
“There is nothing more seductive than an enthusiastic lover,” says Lou Paget, certified sex educator and author of The Big O: Orgasms: How to Have Them, Give Them, and Keep Them Coming. “That beats out the perfect body or the perfect face anytime. A man wants feedback that a woman is into doing things with him!”
New Tricks
Men want a lover who is willing to try new things from time to time. That doesn’t mean you have to go all 50 Shades of Grey. Just be open to ideas.
“Sexual desire is like an appetite,” says Paget. “We all want to try different flavors -- otherwise we’d get bored eating at the same place all the time. Men want someone who is willing to explore unique feelings and new sensations.”
Worried that whatever you do is suddenly going to become part of your nightly repertoire? Don’t think of it as a can of worms. Most likely the occasional change-up is all he needs.
Praise
We normally think of women as the ones who need reassurance about their appearance, but men get insecure, too. A lover who will find something to compliment and worship about her partner will never lack affection from him.
“Every man wants to know they have that special something that turns a woman on,” says Paget. “It could be something that turns her head or something like his intelligence or sense of humor that she finds incredibly sexy.”
Bossiness
It’s not a cliché, ladies. A man wants a woman who will tell him what to do -- at least in the bedroom. Most guys will be thankful for a little instruction, especially if it means they’ll succeed at pleasuring you.
“A woman who can guide you with sounds or one word responses is preferred as it takes away the guess work,” says Paget. “Just remember to avoid acting like a sexual traffic cop!”
Confidence
Men want someone who will leave the lights on and let him get a good look at her. Stop worrying about covering up any squishy parts.
“Indirect lighting is Hollywood’s best friend and it can be yours as well,” says Paget. “Need I repeat that men are visual creatures and they want to see their partner? It’s a big part of their turn-on factor.”
Confidence is sexier than anything!
Sex on the Brain
A woman who keeps sex in the forefront of her thoughts knows how to inject it into life outside the bedroom -- and that’s sexy. Try sexting him or be extra naughty and playful in public.
“Do it in a discreet way,” say Paget. “Let your partner know that you’re thinking about sex throughout the day. Remember, your brain is your sexual power source.
Four Things Guys Can’t Get Enough Of
You'll be surprised by what words and gestures guys love. Here are small things you do — both innately and intentionally — that secretly put a smile on your guy's face.
Watching You Primp
Your flatiron and eyelash curler look like medieval torture devices to men, yet watching you work your beauty magic fascinates us. "There's something so endearing about a girl standing in front of the mirror in a towel, putting on makeup," says Wes*, 31. Part of it is seeing the lengths you go to in order to look hot for us. But mostly it's the sneak peek into your private world that we find intriguing. So before a date or in the morning, leave the door open and let him watch you transform from wet-haired cutie to stunning goddess.
Hearing That He's Hot
You get personal satisfaction from looking good; your guy gets it from knowing that you think he looks doable. Acknowledge his physical assets with a sexy compliment, a butt squeeze, even elevator eyes, and he'll feel like a stud. Take it from Mike, 22: "I begrudgingly went clothes shopping with my girlfriend a few months ago," he says. "When I came out of the dressing room in new jeans, my girl gave me a lingering glance then whispered, 'Take me now!' She was half-joking, but she half-wasn't. And it made me feel pretty damn good."
Enjoying the Silence
Sometimes when guys are quiet, it's not because we're upset but that we're happy in the moment — so what's there to discuss?! "On our third date, my now-girlfriend ate her entire dessert in complete silence, gazing at me between bites," recalls Jason, 27. "I loved that she felt relaxed enough around me to do that." So resist the temptation to fill your next pregnant pause with a mind-numbing recap of The Hills rerun you just saw. Your restraint will speak volumes about your security in the relationship.
Giving Advice…That You Actually Act On
When you vent about your work/friend/mom issues, we know we're supposed to listen supportively. But true or not, guys believe that we have the solutions to most problems. So when you go off about some dilemma, we usually spout our advice. When you actually take those recommendations, it's validation that we know what we're talking about and, most important, you trust us.
What Your Signature Says About You
We sign cheques, contracts, tax forms and all sorts of other important and not-so-important documents.
We also tend to sign letters, even if the body of text is printed. And the finest writers of love letters in history tended to end with the flourish of a flamboyant signature.
In other words, signatures are important. And in a world of type-written correspondence, your signature is the one piece of writing that is still up for interpretation. Handwriting experts say that recipients pick up on the messages your signature sends, if only subliminally.
According to graphologist Fiona Mackay, your signature 'is how you want to be seen. Being the writing most often seen by the rest of the world, it's your public face.'
So here are some signature facts, and some clues as to what yours might be giving away about you.
Our signatures are unique
We all develop flourishes that mark our signatures out, and our signatures serve to identify us. Signatures can be copied, but it's much harder to forge a signature than to forge normal handwriting, which is (or should be) written for clarity.
We learn to write, and then we develop a signature. But unlike learning to write, we don't follow rules when we are creating a signature. Some people practice their signatures for a long time in a bid to make them unique. Other signatures are just names written quickly without taking the pen from the page. Whatever they are, they are clues to our personalities.
Showy signatures
Men - especially young men - often develop flamboyant and showy signatures. That's fine, if you want to present a flamboyant, showy personality - if you're an artist or entertainer, say, or some other kind of public figure. But handwriting analysts say that if you sign off a sober, conservative business letter in this way, it will create confusion. Are you a serious proposition or not? And you don't want a potential customer to be confused about who you really are.
People in the public eye often develop large, showy signatures, because they want to appear larger than life. If you don't, you might want to tone the flourishes down.
Big signatures
You want to come across as confident, but not over-confident, and your signature can present you as both. A signature that is too big and bold, especially if it's much bigger than the rest of the text, could mark you out as arrogant.
In some situations you may want to come across as bold, of course, but remember to reduce the size of your scrawl for those occasions when appearing over confident would not be to your advantage.
And a large signature that is also too showy may backfire, by indicating feelings of inadequacy, say experts. You want to be noticed. You might even want to be seen as a bit of an extrovert. But try too hard and it looks a little forced, and not the real you.
Small signatures
If overly large signatures sometimes give the wrong impression, so do small and unobtrusive ones. As you might expect, tiny signatures, especially if smaller than the body of text, indicate a desire not to be noticed. Shy, introverted people often have very small signatures. If you want your signature to show a natural confidence and ease, go for the middle ground: bigger than the surrounding text, but not so big as to dominate the page.
Sober signatures
Sober signatures - by which we mean those that don't differ too much from the rest of your writing in slant and style - can mean that you are a 'what you see is what you get' type of person. You're showing your true personality - with both its strengths and weaknesses - in all that you write. Sober signatures can seem a little boring, of course, but they're a safe bet and work for any kind of correspondence.
Readable signatures
Sober signatures are generally easily readable, while others are swirly scrawls that seem to bear no resemblance to the printed name. It's up to you how you'd like yours to come out, but experts believe that legibility implies modesty and a consideration for the reader. You're making an effort to write well so they don't have to make an effort to read what you've written, and that's as true of your signature as the rest of the text.
Illegible signatures
If you're writing for business, say, or composing the letter that will accompany a job application, sober and legible is probably the best way to go. But experts also say that writing that is hard to read - because it's been written quickly - can be indicative of a sharp mind or the need to get a torrent of thoughts down on paper quickly.
Such spontaneity is not good for a business letter, but it might be fine for a personal one. Your signature may be an illegible scrawl, but if it seems to confirm the impression of quick thinking that's not always a bad thing. A hurriedly written love letter may end with an illegible signature, for example, which may be interpreted as the writer struggling to tame his tumbling, out-of-control emotions.
The underline
Many signatures are underlined. If the underline is short and straight, it may suggest an unassuming manner and also, say experts, self-reliance. And of course, the opposite is also true. A more showy, swirly underline suggests attention-seeking.
Few of the traits associated with your signature are universally bad ones - there's nothing wrong with being showy, super confident, shy, unassuming or flamboyant, if that's what you want to convey. But your signature does say something about you, and your reader will pick up on it, if only subconsciously. In other words, use your signature wisely - it's one of the ways you show your public face to the world.
Things Men Really Want in a Woman
Freezing temperatures can leave even the biggest commitment-phobes craving someone to snuggle with. So we got guys to open up about just what they want in a Little Spoon they'd love to curl up with long after the seasons have shifted.
A Woman Who Will Let Me Impress Her
"I kind of want the opposite of most guys I know: I'd secretly love a girl that's bad at cooking-all the easier for me to wow her with some of my home-cooked specialties." -Christian B.
A Woman Who Can Hold Her Own
"I want to be with a girl who, if she's on a different page from me on something, can hold her own in a debate about it. Disagreements can keep things fun." -Andrew H.
A Woman Who Goes With The Flow
"I want a woman who doesn't act like a child when things don't go her way. You've got to be able to lose occasionally and show grace and poise in those moments (And I do too)." -Brady C.
A Woman Who Motives Me
"I want to get serious with a girl who pushes me to have a successful career. It motivates me when I talk to my girlfriend about work and she calls me out on being complacent or not doing everything I can to be the best at what I do. It really helps me to stay focused, especially since the whole reason I'm working is to be able to one day provide for a family." -Ryan G.
A Woman Who Wants to Try New Things
"I want a girl with a sense of adventure-it keeps things interesting. No matter how fun a routine might be, it can get boring eventually. Whether it's taking a cooking class or going skydiving, it's great to be with someone who's open to new things. Dates with my girlfriend can range from trips to the zoo to checking out musicians at a weird, random warehouse party." -Alex R.
A Woman Who Let's Me Have Guy Time
"It's important to me to find someone understanding who realizes and respects that there are certain things that make guys, well, guys. We might not always be interested in the same things as women and might sometimes need our own guy time. As we move closer together in our relationship, certain things will begin to happen as a unit and we'll be a team, but it's still key to me to have someone who allows and understands those differences." -Marlon J.
A Woman Who Trusts Me
"I need a woman who's trusting and doesn't get jealous easily. Above all, it shows me that she's confident in our relationship and in herself." -Dennis R.
A Strong Woman
"I really fall for someone who has gone through their own trials or tribulations and come out on top as a better person. It's a real test of character." -Oliver M.
A Woman My Friends Like
"I want to lock down a girl that gets along with my friends. It's really important because friends can see through the BS that you can't when you're too infatuated with someone. So if she can sway my boys and have them eventually tell me, 'Dude, she's pretty cool,' without my asking them, I would definitely call it a win." -Blake S.
A Woman Who Loves Me For Me
"Above all, I want a girl who can deal with my faults and love me for who I am, even on my worst days." -Alan A.
A Smart Woman
"Smart is sexy, so knowledge that eclipses my own would be amazing. I want her to humble me in a way that makes me legitimately appreciate her intellect and approach to conversation." -Max S.
A Woman Who Supports Me
"More than anything, I want support. I don't need tons of commonalities-I'd rather a woman back me in the things I'm passionate about that she doesn't have in common with me. She doesn't need to love motorcycles and MMA or breakdancing and cooking, but if she understands and gives unconditional support despite our differences, I think that can really make a relationship.
Article On Fake Internet Girlfriends
You might not want a real girlfriend right now, so why not fake one?
Every heterosexual single man wants a girlfriend - eventually.
But sometimes not right now. Maybe you want to spend your energy climbing the career ladder and don’t have time to commit to a full-on relationship?
Maybe you’ve just come out of something long-term and want a bit of time to yourself?
Maybe you just want to stay footloose and fancy free, at least for a while?
In which case, why not enjoy the benefits of a fake girlfriend? We’re not kidding. Fake girlfriends exist and more and more men have them. Here’s the lowdown on fake relationships and what’s in it for you.
What is a fake girlfriend?
A fake girlfriend is a girlfriend, that’s fake. She isn’t real. And yet she kind of is.
Yes we know, it’s confusing. A fake girlfriend is a girl who pretends to be in a relationship with you, so though she’s real, the relationship isn’t. You get none of the obvious benefits of having a real girlfriend, like sex, companionship and someone to moan at you for not putting the loo seat down.
What you have instead is someone who will write you letters and emails as if from a real girlfriend. They may send you photos, videos and amorous texts. They will change their relationship status on Facebook to make people think they’re in a relationship with you and then post sweet little nothings on your wall.
And in return, you pay them. For $5, for instance, you can have a fake Facebook girlfriend for a week.
Some will go further than that. A website called Fake Internet Girlfriend offers a more complete service, with girls who will change their Facebook status, send you soppy Twitter messages, post romantically on your Facebook wall and even join your online gaming community (for an extra charge) so you can look like the geek with the girlfriend.
“In fact, you can even have your girlfriend join your guild, level up a character and even go on raids with you. Just let us know when you contact us exactly what you are looking for in a gamer girlfriend,” the site says.
Your Fake Internet Girlfriend will even leave a message on your voicemail or phone your secretary to pretend to set up a dinner date, so everyone really will think you’re dating. The rub? The basic package costs $250 a month.
Erm, why would you want a fake girlfriend?
Let’s be clear, your fake girlfriend isn’t an escort, and nor will she send you pornographic material. Your $5 won’t get you a cascade of saucy ‘sexts’ or a picture of her in her underwear. Titillation isn’t really the point of fake girlfriends.
So what is the point? Good question. Fake girlfriend “Sophia” told the BBC recently that: “It's mostly guys trying to make someone else jealous. Or to make their profile look like they've got girls all over them.”
Fake girlfriend adverts emphasise the point. They can make your ex green with jealousy, or convince a girl you really fancy that you’re the catch every girl is hoping to land. Your succession of conquests is bound to pique the interest of watching women, and in the world of social media everybody is always watching.
But fake girlfriends have been around far longer than Facebook. Before social media they would write you letters and emails, send photos and write romantic “thanks for dinner” type texts.
Back then, many men claimed to use the services to get nagging family off their backs. A fake girlfriend would stop all those embarrassing questions from mums and grans. “When will you get a nice girlfriend?” “When will you settle down?” “Why are you wasting all your time at work?”
How do you get a fake girlfriend?
Getting the (fake) girl is as easy as shopping on Amazon. Visit a site like Fake Internet Girlfriend, Cloud Girlfriend, Fiverr or Brazilian site Namaro Fake, describe what you’re looking for, pay the fee and let the bogus loving begin.
But there’s a catch. As relationship psychologist Jo Hemmings explains, a fake girlfriend might achieve your aim - unless somebody finds out she’s fake. At that point, your fake relationship could cause you a great deal of very real humiliation.
To avoid that scenario, there are a few rules. Keep the fake relationships short. You don’t want to get to the point when it’s starting to look a bit weird that nobody - even your best friend - has ever met her.
Before entering credit card details, devise a plausible scenario for how you met her. You can’t just blurt out that you met her in a bar and then watch as your story unravels under a shower of what?, when?, where? questions from mates.
Finally, try to make sure your fake girlfriend never writes anything on your wall that would seem ridiculous. So if everybody knows you hate fish, don’t have her thanking you for the romantic date at the seafood restaurant. Give her a few clues as to your likes and dislikes to make her posts, tweets and texts seem more plausible.
After that, if you really want to pretend to have a girlfriend, go for it. Just try to remember that the real thing is much more fun.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)